


Longing

by Scotch



Series: Avengers Oneshots [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Male Slash, Masturbation, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:46:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1962597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scotch/pseuds/Scotch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Loki serves his sentence in Asgard, he thinks back on where he went wrong.  He wonders if a certain mortal could have seen the good in him, and it's the only thought that keeps him sane in his solitude.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing and am not making any money from this! :c

Silence. It's the silence that's driving him mad. He can see the guards as they pass by his cell, their forms hazy through the glowing golden aura that contains his magic. He sees them talking, chattering animatedly about something that he would find utterly boring at any other given time.

The once-prince of Asgard throws his head back against the wall behind him and laughs. It is a hollow, maniacal sound that echoes in the small cell. He laughs for the irony of it all. Because what is the difference between humor and tragedy, if not whether it happens to you or someone else?

"Oh, but I would find my state so hilarious if I were anyone but myself." He drawls, looking at the ceiling.

His hair is almost to his waist now, frizzy, tangled and matted beyond salvation. He just doesn't care anymore, really. The only thing he truly desires is far beyond his grasp.

"What do you think? Does this fate suit me?" He asks the cell that appears empty to the guard passing by.

"I think it suits you, Reindeer Games. It's old, dusty, full of books and you even get awesome room service that doesn't talk back." Loki blinks and looks up at Tony Stark, the Man of Iron standing over him. He looks the same as he did on that fateful day, wearing worn jeans and a Black Sabbath t-shirt.

"So I deserve this fate?" Loki asks. "Does it amuse you to see me as one might an animal in a menagerie. That is what I am, Stark. An animal. No, not an animal. A monster."

"Yeah, but you made yourself into the monster, Buttercup." Stark replies, with a smirk. "It's too bad, really. We could have been glorious, you and I."

"But I will never regret it. It is too late for remorse." Loki smirks and wiggles his fingers. Tony disappears in a shimmering green mist, leaving Loki alone again.

Only an illusion.

They must think him insane by now.

Maybe he _is._ Or maybe it's all of _them_ that are crazy.

But would it have been like, if he'd surrendered instead? No. This train of thought never ends where he wants it to. Only with a mindless longing for what he can never have. He wished he could have killed that she-mortal, then maybe Stark would suffer for what he lost and understand what he wrought.

Loki thought that maybe he could save him. Perhaps Stark could have seen the pain behind his eyes, and stopped the invasion after all. But, no. Stark, like the others, saw only the monster in that one instant when it mattered as they had their little private battle of wills.

When Loki threw him out the window, it wasn't with rage, or anything of the sort. It was heartbreak. If he could not have him, than _no one_ deserved him! ...Because for a brief, shining moment, he could have sworn Stark saw something in him other than a monster.

_Jotunn._

How he loathes himself.

Loki sighs and slips a hand into his loose, dusty leather pants. Sex was always his distraction of choice, but now he was deprived even of that. But it's not so hard to imagine Tony's hands on his skin, calloused from years of creating wondrous things, as he coaxes himself into hardness. It'll never be the real thing, but in the sanctuary of Loki's mind, he can slip away and dream of what he'll never have. ...What he longs for more than anything in the nine realms and beyond.

What he could give _anything_ to possess.

He sighs quietly as he frees himself from the confines of his pants and strokes his shaft at a steady pace. If he tries, he can pretend that it's actually Stark's lips as he takes in him mouth. Loki wonders what his goatee would feel like, if it would tickle him.

Before long, he's panting and moaning as he pushes back against the wall and arches up into his hand. He knows the guards can see him, and they're probably having a good laugh.

But he doesn't care. _At all._

In that moment, he's not in his cell. He's in the penthouse of Stark Tower, stretched out on the sofa as Tony devours him with his mouth.

It isn't long before he reaches the edge, the intensity of the images consuming him. Loki calls out Tony's name in a broken whimper and soils his shirt with his release when climax takes him. Absently, he snaps his fingers and the mess disappears before he buttons his pants back up.

For a moment, he just sits there, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling. ...Until he opens his mouth with the intention of falling into another fit of empty laughter, but it isn't laughter that escapes him. It's a gut-wrenching sob. Tears well in his eyes unbidden as he realizes that no fantasy can every compensate for reality, and there _can never be_ _a reality_.

His beloved mortal will be long dead before Loki ever sees the light of day again. _If_ he ever does. He will live, and die, never knowing how Loki longs for him. Maybe that's for the better. Surely, he would reject him, anyway.

Surely.

"Loki." Loki Looks up at Tony, knowing it's just another illusion of his creating and smiles bitterly. "You made this choice. Put on your big-boy pants and deal with it."

"Stark, I hope your life is full of all the happiness mine is lacking." Loki whispers and wills the illusion away. It fades, and Loki wishes painfully anything that it hadn't.

How long has been in here? Minutes? Days? Years? He doesn't even know anymore. For all Loki knows, centuries have passed.

"You look like shit, Rock of Ages." Loki's tear-filled eyes flicker down from the ceiling to rest on the face of Tony Star who's crouching down in front of him. Lazily, he waves he hand, but the illusion doesn't fade. He blinks in confusion and sees Thor standing in the opening to the cell with two Einjerjar behind him.

Real. He's _real_.

Loki only stares in disbelief as Tony pats his head like he's some sort of dog. "So, if you can behave yourself and help clean up your little mess, you'll never have to see the inside of this cell again. So how about it, Lokes? You bored yet?"

At a total loss for words, Loki only nods, wondering when he is going to wake up from this wondrous dream. He will do anything they say – _anything –_ so long as he can have this one last second chance. He sees something odd in Tony's expression as he offers him his hand to take help him up. Loki feels a sick satisfaction in the fact that he takes a hold of it with the hand he used to pleasure himself. ...And is somewhat glad that Stark didn't arrive a bit earlier to witness it.

He walks silently at Tony's side, Thor and the guards a bit further ahead of him. Loki barely manages not to gasp when Tony leans down and whispers something in his ear.

"So, you do realize that this means I don't want to dream about pounding you into the sofa in my lounge anymore, right?" Loki snorts and smiles to himself.

"If you do not tell them I found a way to bypass the enchantments to visit your dreams, which I honestly had no idea was I doing, I will not tell them how much you enjoyed it."

"You drive a hard bargain. I expect the blowjob of the century." Tony quips under his breath, just loud enough for only Loki to hear. Thor turns around with his eyebrows raised, wondering why Loki suddenly bursts into laughter.

 _Real_ laughter.


End file.
